Sounds and Sweet Airs

2011-11-25T05:07:00.001-08:00

Tis a beautiful thing, the actor's life!

You do a ten minute scene at your old drama school for the Directing course and suddenly you are imbued with a renewed vigour for doing the most unpredictable job fate has come up with.

I'm not aiming to be famous or wealthy. Those that do are pursuing acting for the wrong reasons and if they don't achieve either of these superficial aims straight away they soon lose interest. I'm in for the long haul. I want to be respected by my peers and have my performances enjoyed by audiences. That's about it. If I get paid for it, great (good for my agent too)

The recession has made things interesting. Producers want bankable casting. Get bums on seats! Who cares about artistic integrity? I'm not a 'stand out from the crowd' actor in terms of my looks (although I am over 6 foot so technically I'm a head above a few people). I'm good at accents, but nowadays they just cast people with the accent required. I don't have much chance against better-established actors of the same age. I'm expected to just keep plugging away.

They say it's all about who you know, but I would argue that it's more about how much you're willing to fail. If you knock on a hundred doors and the first ninety nine are slammed in your face, would you still try the hundredth? It takes a serious commitment and constant effort to keep on smiling throughout. I know it won't just land in my lap, but I sometimes wish it would. I've seen so many examples recently where an actor simply isn't engaging enough, and in the West End where I'm paying a pretty penny to see shows that I would love to be in, that can be quite disheartening/really annoying. But That's The Way The Game Works. I don't want to see a play or watch film and be angry at the apparent lack of ability on display. Some audiences want escapism, but they shouldn't want to escape from awful performances. A few audiences want to be challenged, but by the play/film's subject matter not the actor's inability to be heard. Maybe the recession will change things. Maybe the best people for parts will get more of a chance. Maybe not.

In the meantime, I'll drink a cold pint and make some notes in my Equity diary.

The Great Procrastinator

2011-08-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

The traumatic trials and tribulations of a resting actor are simply too innumerable to contemplate. If you think you're having a bad day, here are some things that have skipped through my mind on this wet Tuesday:

My blueberry smoothie is a touch too warm.

I can't quite get the adjustment of my swivel chair right.

The air con seems determined to waft a single strand of hair at the top of my head giving me the sensation that my male pattern baldness has reached an even more advanced state.

The people on the other side of the office seem to be smiling and laughing quietly...what do they know? Who's been talking? How dare they judge me...

I'm becoming a little bit more paranoid.

I finish at 4pm, a time so far away that entire continents might be eroded to nubs before then.

My left foot has an annoying itch and my right foot is being uncharacteristically unsympathetic.

I can't be sure, but I think every woman I have ever met thought I was boring.

Knowledge is power, but trivia is annoying. Discuss.

I'm nearly 27. Lots of famous people died at 27. I'm not famous yet, does that mean that my chances of dying at 27 are lower than a famous person?

I have 4 papercuts.

More to come....

Why I need to quit drinking

2010-10-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

I managed two weeks without so much as a sniff of booze, but boy did I fall off the wagon...

Saturday night started out as an innocent beer or two after work. Hanging out with the girls, shooting the shit with the bartenders...then this happened:

Midnight 'Sure, I'll have a shot. Just the one though.'

00.17 'Cocktails? Well...go on then.'

00.36 'A flatliner? What the hell is a flatliner?! (drinks) GaaaAAAaaahhh!'

00.38 'Why would I want another one of those??!! They're revolting! A cement mixer? OK'

00.41 'Gaaaaaahh'

01.15 'Jagerbombs!'

01.37 'I'm John, what's your name? Delilah? DELILAH?! Hahahahahahahaaaaa!'

01.38 'Mate, seriously. I didn't mean anything by it. I just found the name funny'

01.52 'Jagerbombs!'

02.11 'Turn arouuund, evry noww and then I get a slittle bit tireeed and you're never comin rouuuunnddd...'

02.15 'Jagerbombsh!!'

02.25 'I thinkk I shlould switsch back to beerrr'

02.50 'I guesssh we're havingg a lock-in then?'

02.55 'Jager...jager...bombssssss'

03.30 'Put mIchael Jacksshun on! Put Mickeyy J on! Not that one! Thrill (hic) Thrillller'

04.15 'I need to go'

04.50 'Whyy am I shtill here?'

04.51 'Bye'

04.53 - 06.38 (No recollection - possible vomiting - some travel)

08.35 VOMIT

10.36 (Putting head against front door) 'I made it...I'm home...thank God'

11.05 VOMIT

11.10 - 17.36 (Sleepy sleepy time)

17.56 'Hello, is that Domino's pizza? I'd like a large meat feast........

Never again.